Halloween is here and it gives us an opportunity to gain confidence by being whoever or whatever we want to be! Many of us like to dress us as popular items such as the Fidgety Spinners! Some of us dress as pop culture icons like Eleven from Stranger Things, Wonder Woman, or Princess Leia from Star Wars. Then, some of us take a more cute and sexy approach such as being a kitty cat, jaguar, devil, or angel. I have seen many women squeezing into their leopard print spandex to get into costume! Go, Girl! Many of us even dress up in the same costume as their best friends or have couples outfits. My favorite couples outfit this year was The Hungry Caterpillar from the popular children’s book and her fiance was The Apple that the caterpillar eats! Some of us are really really creative and funny with our costumes! I hope that if you enter a costume contest this year that you win first place. Especially if you put many hours of thought and time into your design.
It is also nice to see our children dressing up. Anything looks cute when a child wears it. They can wear a witches, ghosts, or police officers and they look too cute. Many schools have a parade where we can watch our children show off their costumes with their peers. I personally had to work and my office is not the biggest on dressing up but I wore Minnie Mouse ears to at least get into the spirit of the season.
I like the opportunity Halloween gives us to dress as something different and new and be this other person.
Who Do you want to be?
I went to a Halloween party this year and this woman dressed as Cruella De Vil from 101 Dalmations. Now, not only did she dress the part in the fur coat and all, she put on the full persona! Let me tell you, she was being angry and aggressive with the other party guests. She had a long cigarette holder like De Vil has in the cartoon. She was tapping other people on the shoulders with her cigarette holder and banging on objects with authority. When I said hi to her, she stayed in character. She said a few words to me, then said “Good Day!” With a quick turn, she whisked her fur coat over her shoulder and walked briskly away with confidence. What a great chance for her to be a whole new person and get into character. On the day today, I doubt she is so aggressive. I also doubt that she is so confident and sassy on a normal day but she definitely worked it at the party!
When we think about our lives, is there a day that you wish to be someone else? Do you ever look at someone rich like Marilyn Monroe, Oprah, or even Kylie Jenner and think…Wow to have their lives would be amazing!? Sometimes I drift off in my head and think about how if I had more money then I would be happy. Also, I think, if I had more money, a bigger home, or a nicer car that I would be much much more confident. Hey! I would say, “Don’t talk to me I am driving a Lexus!” RIGHT? Okay, that may be a bit mean! LOL! But imagine handing the valet the keys and saying “Don’t scratch the Tesla! There’s a big tip in it for you!” It is fun to imagine having things and being these famous people in order to get that confidence boost.
Is everybody Rich without me?
In this day and age, especially with everyone showing off their wealth on social media, it is easy to feel that inkling inside us that maybe we would be happier to be someone else who has more. Especially when the bills start piling up and we see our checks dwindling down to pay each one. We pay all our credit cards, our electric bills, our car notes, and our rent, and think, “Okay so I am left with this little bit for myself?” “What to do now?” If only we were Selena Gomez or Cardi B! We would have money, after money, after money, to spend on anything we want. All the shoes, the purses, the diamonds! Oh, so many Diamonds! “What a life we would say!” There are so many of us showing off our new cars, homes, and jewelry that it makes us wonder, “Am I doing life wrong?” How many snapshots have we seen of our friends or celebrities at fancy parties and we get a bit jealous and we want to be there! It happens to us all!
Now, if only my Halloween mask actually transformed me into the person that I was imagining or dressing up as for Halloween. Any of us would get used to putting on a Kylie Jenner mask and swiping her credit card for all the fancy things that we want. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be too mad when she got the bill! So as we think about becoming these other people for Halloween, it allows us to think about who we could have been. Where could we have been born and who could we have been? In another life, we could have been born to $1,000,000 in the bank already! Thanks, mom and dad! Where’s MY check mom and dad!!?? Just kidding, mom and dad.
Is our confidence in wealth?
We sometimes daydream. Daydreaming is healthy for us to consider the possibilities of our lives. However, we should not get stuck there. We have to go back to reality and realize who we are. We are nurses, baristas, and clerks. Some of us are wealthy but either way, we are just these normal people living normal lives. The challenge is to find something deep within ourselves that we can still get that same confidence boost. Yes! Having the Lexus would easily give us that boost but deep down we know this is a superficial boost of confidence. Once the Lexus is a bit old, scratched, or dusty, our confidence would start falling fast. What if our neighbor got the same Lexus or God forbid a NEWER Lexus! What would happen to our confidence then! It would get smaller and smaller.
Can money buy us happiness?
Our job then is to find something in life to hold on to that is deeper than the superficial items that we possess. Some say, “Money cannot buy you happiness”. It is a true statement. Although, some would say that it’s better to be depressed in a Lexus than depressed in a “bucket!” If you don’t know what is a “bucket”, it’s a car that is beat up and old! This is just a joke. Honestly, money provides a sense of security and things are fun to buy! However, we must look to a different solution to gain confidence. The problem is that money goes away. Money is fleeting and objects rust, dust, and get old. Therefore, if our sole pride is from objects, then we will go up and down in our confidence fast. Not to mention, if we spend all our money impressing others, we will be broke pretty fast, and we will have a lot of superficial friends who care so much about what we have. It is important to have friends who genuinely appreciate who we are as well.
What are things that can last much longer than money and shiny new objects?
Well, those things are not as exciting as a Lexus but the things that have lasting value are things we truly stand for. Who we are and what we stand for can be seen through values. Values are such things as honesty, kindness, truthfulness, and loyalty. They are things that we stand for such as choosing to never cheating on our husband or choosing to tell the truth. How about choosing not to gossip! We could choose to give our children hugs every day. Also, we could choose to keep healthy snacks in our homes. These types of values and actions are what we can hold dear. There are actions we do every day that defines us. It will be where we can get our innate confidence. We can know that when someone says something mean to us, we can think about how we are a good wife and mother. When anyone talks down to us, we will know “I’m not perfect but I know I always do my best to be kind!” These are lasting conditions that I hope we can keep close to our hearts. What we stand for will never change if we choose not to compromise what we believe in! That way, if we are ever poor, we will know that we can still be Kind. This is why they say, “The Best things in life are free!” Then, if we end up losing a job, maybe we know that we still were never late on the job or that we never stole a dime from our employer! These are things we can be proud of!
What do you stand for?
Whatever it is, we need to find what we can personally stand for and be confident about. What is important to you may not be important to others but this is a personal confidence journey! It is all about what makes us happy with ourselves! If we don’t know what we stand for then it is time to find out! To help us get started, We can write a list of your proudest accomplishments. Can we also write down some of our proudest moments? How did we feel? Would we like to feel that way again? How can we put some of what we stand for in practice each day? How can we stand up for what we believe each day? If we practice knowing our values, we can have much more long-lasting confidence. Then when we get the new Lexus, it will be just a bonus to the confidence we already possess within!
Please have a safe and exciting Halloween. Eat lots of candy and enjoy the parties! Take your kids Trick or Treating! Squeeze into that Cat outfit if you can! Dress as your favorite throwback 80s toy or 21st-century pop star! This Halloween, as we dress up as someone else, we should continue to remember what we stand for and what we believe in. We know that our confidence cannot be in things that fade away over time or money that sometimes we lose. We know that who we are is bigger than what we have. We can be proud of what we stand for! That way, we will know that once we take off the costume, we can still be confident in who we are on the other 364 days of the year!